Who Attends a Sex Party?
The types of men I have met at LA sex parties
One of the most fascinating things I have learned being an adventurous single person in LA is that if you want to have sex you can go to a party and have sex.
I mean, I know that women can go to a bar and probably hook up with someone, but it isn’t a sure thing, and there are personal safety issues. At an LA sex party, everyone there is looking for some sexual interaction, there are rules about consent and mandatory safe sex, and it cuts through the bullshit. I love that these places exist.
I’ve been to several sex parties with a partner, and it’s sometimes fun, sometimes weird, but always worth it. The parties I attend are held in buildings that are businesses during the day and at night transform into this social sex scene. There are several rooms with beds and swings, glory holes, private rooms, stripper poles, and BDSM props. Drugs, alcohol, and phones are prohibited, but snacks and sodas are provided. There is also a large social area where no sexual activity is allowed so people can talk and take a break. I’ve met several types of men at these parties, and I would like to introduce them to you.
The Man Who “never attends sex parties”
This guy wants to set himself apart by pretending he is not the type of guy who attends sex parties. I mean, he is talking to a woman who attends sex parties, and is AT a sex party, so what exactly is he trying to say?? One man said he was a PhD candidate in Sexual Behavior and was just there observing. I questioned him about his school and his dissertation and it became quite clear he was there just to watch some sexy stuff like the rest of us.
Another man told me he is not the type to ever go to sex parties but he had just broken up with his girlfriend. We talked for a couple hours and I agreed to go to dinner with him. He arrived at our date bearing flowers and a nicely wrapped vibrator. Over dinner he told me again how he never attends sex parties and any woman he dated would not attend sex parties. I declined a second date. Several months later, on New Year’s Eve, I ran into him again — at a sex party. He was shocked at the revealing outfit I was wearing and told me he did not expect that I would be the type of woman to dress like that. The man who “never attends sex parties” is definitely reading the room incorrectly.
The Exhibitionist
In contrast, the exhibitionist is the most fun. He wants to have sex and he wants everyone to see him having sex, or at least see his cock. My absolute hero in this category arrives at the party dressed casually with a backpack slung around his shoulders. He heads into the bathroom where he removes all his clothes and puts them in the backpack. He then slips the backpack on and walks around the party stark naked. This is entirely within the dress code, which is simply “bare as you dare”. I have never seen him interact with anyone, he just walks around to see and be seen. After awhile he takes off his backpack, puts his clothes back on and leaves the party. Note that he removes his clothes in the privacy of the bathroom but gets dressed out in the open, I guess since everyone has already seen every inch of him. He has the confidence of a man twice his length.
Other fun examples of the exhibitionist man are easy to find at a public sex party — just look in any of the rooms. He will be enjoying himself with his partner often while looking around to see who notices him. He may go into one of the private rooms but leave the door open for sneaky exhibitionist sex. Dating an exhibitionist can have its own challenges, but at a sex party exhibitionists are the main attraction.
The First Timer
This is often a guy in college who is experimenting with his sexuality in a safe place. Young first-timers are my favorite category of sex party attendees. I encourage them to tell me their stories and then I help them find a partner (or partners). More than one has asked me to be their girlfriend, which flatters me and makes me laugh at the same time since I literally could be their mothers. My favorite newbie was a young kid who thought he might be gay and wanted to explore that. After I helped find him a man whose cock he sucked he gushed, “I wish you were my girlfriend, I would treat you right”.
The Professional Man
Yep, lots of professional men go to sex parties. I’ve met (and verified) a chef at a very fancy restaurant for which I would never be able to get a reservation, an assistant coach for a professional sports team, and businessmen of all sorts. The moral? People from all walks of life and socio-economic strata like to fuck.
The Man Who Fucks for Work
Perhaps having sex where there is less pressure to perform but still an audience relieves some stress, I don’t know. It is interesting to me that I have met several men who are porn actors at sex parties. Most men I have met that are in the adult video industry have to tell me who they are, but once a very famous porn star was walking around, talking to people and showing his (very large) dick to all who asked.
The Rest of Us
The last category is for the rest of us. Those who are horny, want a place to meet other horny people, and want to be able to let their freak flag fly without judgement. Being able to experiment with exhibitionism or group sex or gay sex in a safe space is a powerful feeling. Additionally, watching others have sex and being in a place where lust is normalized and there are few taboos is freeing.
My experience has been only at parties run by a specific set of people, but I have heard there are many other parties in LA. Some are stringently vetted, some are couples only, some are anti-LGBTQI+, and some are same sex only. There are also themed parties for specific kinks such as BDSM or swapping partners. If you want to get laid on any given day in LA you can find what you need. Just don’t tell people that you never attend sex parties.
